In the summer of 2017 my thoughts were pretty much some combination of this:
Is my teeny tiny little baby ever going to gain weight? Answer: Give it a few months. In 2019 she will be the youngest and the largest child in her preschool class.
When can I nap, and how much longer do I have to carry around this baby weight? Answer: Um, never. You have two children now, dummy. And, stop being ridiculous. You had a baby a couple of months ago.
I was basically worried about nothing. We had the sweetest, littlest new family member; her brother was (and is to this day) the best big brother in the world; and David and I were happily navigating through the uncharted territory of two children with little growing pains to our relationship. Things were pretty swell.
I had zero-to-no complaints with my life in the summer of 2017. I was finally out of the fog that seemed to be ruling me in 2016. My family was as happy as could be. I was as happy as could be! I remember one Sunday in late July as we sat at a table outside eating brunch in Sag Harbor; Maddy slept in her stroller, and all I could think to myself was, “I am so happy. How could anyone be so blessed?” Life was good and I was loving every minute of it!
Little did I know what was coming…
About a week later, on August 1, 2017, my life changed forever when my doctor called to confirm that I had breast cancer.
My life has changed so drastically since that day that sometimes I have a hard time remembering who I was before that phone call from my doctor. I have clung to the memory of that weekend in the Hamptons as hard as I can because it was the last time that my little family was just a family of four enjoying a little summer fun. I thank God for that weekend all the time.
After the phone call I became many other things…triple negative, BRCA1 positive, sick from chemotherapy, recovering from a bilateral mastectomy; burned from daily radiation…the list goes on and on. It changed our daily life as a family; it changed our marriage; it changed every personal goal I had ever made for myself.
Everything changed.
Last time I wrote that I had been thinking a lot about love and its transformative powers in our lives. I still am and I’m hoping you are too because today, two years, two months and two weeks after that initial phone call, I’m not really writing about my actual journey through breast cancer. (That story is going to take a while and I need to ease into it!) Today I just wanted to remind everyone to share some love, encouragement, help, a prayer, a funny text with someone you know that is going through something extra challenging these days. It doesn’t have to be breast cancer or even an illness...sometimes everyone needs a little extra love, a little extra hope, a little extra faith.
Without a doubt the outpouring of love and support from the world around me has kept me moving forward through this, at times, surreal journey, and in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I want to thank every single person that has supported me and my family in even the tiniest of ways…the hope and encouragement that we have received has given us the strength to keep fighting. And that is why I want to encourage everyone to get out there and spread some love today. I know firsthand that a little kindness goes a long way!
I like to refer to Breast Cancer Awareness Month as Pinktober, celebrating pink power every single day. Some may think that pink is a silly color, but for this Southern girl, mama of two, sister to four, lover of food, fashion, art and all things baby animals, pink stands for courage, strength, resilience, hope, faith, but most of all L-O-V-E! In my opinion there’s no such thing as too much pink—how could there be?—and I think a pinker world is just exactly what we need.
Sending bottomless hope, love, fun, laughs, and most of all, pink to everyone all day!
xo,
ki